Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Congratulations! We have a period
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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