theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It's shark week go big or go home
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
