you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
this just has baby written all over it
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
