Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
