I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
nutella sex= disaster
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
