We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
