At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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