dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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