If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
