Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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