Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
