WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
