windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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