It's Friday. Sex?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
