her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
