Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
