Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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