Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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