your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I don't think brook has ever known best
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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