i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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