yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
