I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
