people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
How external is "for external use only"?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
