Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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