I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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