Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
This is the prime rib incident all over again
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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