taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
