therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think my vagina is haunted
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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