i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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