There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
