Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
