I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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