I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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