i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
