we're blogging at a bar
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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