Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
