we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
