Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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