Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
