I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
