I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
