the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
