This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
