3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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