More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
