The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
