wanna go halves on a baby?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
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