New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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