i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
