You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
