I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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