She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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