i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
