party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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