Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
