1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
