If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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