I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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