yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
