I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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