You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
