What did we do last night that was yellow?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
