jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
