Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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