we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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