Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
