The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The power of my boobs compel you
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
