420 ftw
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
