I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
