Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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