It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
